Congratulations. If you are able to be married in St Bede's we will do everything to ensure that the ceremony in Church is the most special occasion for you and your fiance/e and your families. Here are some of the common queries people have about weddings.
Who can marry in a Catholic Church?
Any baptised Catholic has a right to marry in their parish church (that is, the church of the parish where they live) provided they are free to marry, are not obviously too immature to take on the responsibilities of marriage, and see marriage in accordance with Catholic teaching, that is, they intend the marriage to be faithful, permanent and be open to the possibility of having children.
What if I've been married before?
You can still be married in a Catholic Church if your partner has died or if your previous marriage was declared null by the Church. If you are a Catholic and have previously married in a non-Catholic Church or registry office then please see Fr John to talk about it.
If you have been married before in a marriage that is recognised as valid by the Catholic Church then you will probably not be able to marry in Church. But, again, see Fr John to talk about it.
There is no such thing as a blessing in Church after a marriage in a registry office.
Who can marry at St Bede's?
Given that you are able to marry in a Catholic Church, you are able to marry here if you or your fiance/e is a baptised Catholic who lives in the parish, or who has a strong family connection with St Bede's or there is some other good reason. (Only the parish priest can judge whether there is a sufficiently good reason.)
What do you have to do?
First of all make an appointment to see Fr John and agree a date for the wedding. Please do this before you make any arrangements for a reception. You should give at least six months notice.
In good time before the wedding (but not more than twelve months before) make an appointment to see a Marriage Registrar at Riverside House, Main Street, Rotherham, They will take down your details, check ID and later issue two blue certificates. Bring those to Fr John. They allow him (or another registered person) to conduct the civil aspects of the wedding, fill in the registers and issue a marriage certificate. Without the blue certificates the marriage cannot take place.
If you or your partner live outside Rotherham, you will need to see the Marriage Registrar in the area where you or they live.
Fr John will give you information about the preparation which is necessary before the sacrament of marriage can be celebrated. He will also talk to you about the service, and the fees.
There is usually a rehearsal the week before the wedding, so that everyone can be familiar with their role and be relaxed for the event.
What documents do I need to bring to Fr John?
The two blue certificates from the marriage Registry Office.
A baptismal certificate. In the case of a Catholic, this must have been issued within the previous six months. Simply apply to the church of baptism for a copy.
A death certificate, if either of the parties has been married and widowed.
The decree of Nullity if a previous marriage has been declared null by the Church.
Planning the Service:
The Church usually provides an organist; other music, (soloists, choirs) can be arranged.
The official photographer is able to take photographs during the ceremony.
(If a DVD is desired please note there may be copyright implications.)
The church arranges the flowers of your choice.
Please note: confetti must not be thrown in the church's grounds.
The Order of Service is as follows:
Music as the Bridal party comes into church
Welcome – Fr John
Reading (from Scripture)
Psalm / hymn
Second reading (from Scripture) -optional
Exchange of marriage promises
Blessing and Exchange of rings
Signing of the Marriage Registers (music / hymn)
Prayers of Intercession R./ hear our Prayer or Lord, graciously hear us
(If the celebration is a Nuptual Mass, the Eucharist begins here with the presentation of the gifts and continues in the normal way. Hymns may be sung at the Presentation of the Gifts and during the distribution of Holy Communion)
Music as bride and groom leave the church.
Music in church must reflect the solemn, sacred nature of the event. The following are offered as examples. This is not a definitive list.
Suitable Hymns for the wedding:
My God loves me
Into one we are all gathered
Lead us, heavenly Father lead us
Love divine, all loves excelling
O perfect love
The King of love my shepherd is
Guide me , O thou great Redeemer
The Lord's my shepherd
Where are love and loving kindness
A new commandment
Father, I place into your hands
Make me a channel of your peace
Breathe on me, breath of God
Lord of all hopefulness
Oh Lord, all the world belongs to you
Oh, the love of my Lord is the essence
If there is an Order of Service and the words of hymns are printed then reference must be made to the licence held by the parish for these purposes. Fr John will give details.
Suitable Readings for the wedding:
Genesis 1, 26-28. 31
Tobit 8, 4-8
Song of Songs 2,8-10.14.16; 8,6-7
Ecclesiasticus 26, 1-4. 13-16
Jeremiah 31, 31-34
Ruth, 1, 16-17
Romans 8,31-35. 37-39
1 Corinthians 6, 13-15. 17-20
1 Corinthians 12, 31-13,1
Ephesians 5,2. 21-33
Colossians 3, 12-17
1 Peter 3, 1-9
1 John 3, 18-24
1 John 4, 7-12
Matthew 5, 1-12
Matthew 5, 13-16
Matthew 7,21. 24-29
Matthew 22, 35-40
Mark 10, 6-9
John 2, 1-11
John 15, 9-12
John 15, 12-16
John 17, 20-26
To see the texts please go to NRSV or a similar site.